I have carried out three preparatory actions for this event, which I feel have helped me. Firstly, I felt that the 21 water blessings integrated into this event helped and prepared me to some extent. I also felt the need to bless myself using the special formula offered by Grieg for communion with Maha Shakti. I performed a more consistent number of blessings, but without counting them. Also in preparation, since July this year I have started taking almost daily, with very few exceptions, the herbal mixture offered to us in this special event, aiming each time I take it to have an inner state of internalization and awareness of the therapeutic effect these herbs offer me.
During this event, in response to the consecration, I felt the Holy Spirit descending into my being from the top of my head downwards. During the actual spiral meditation, I began to feel much more strongly that God is doing all this manifestation through the Holy Spirit. For a few very brief moments I felt that everything was a game between God and the Holy Spirit. The descent and presence of the Holy Spirit in my being “snatched” me into a beginning of ecstasy by extracting my being through the crown of my head in a plane that I cannot describe or comprehend in words. I had the feeling and a quite clear sense that I was not in time nor in any particular place.
Then came the stage when I felt I had to give myself and my whole being to God, both the disorders I was facing and my whole being, but very soon after this inner intention of mine, something within guided me that I must accept all my disorders, defects and all that I was still facing for the time being, in peace and serenity. I was further guided in my inner forum on how to achieve this acceptance, namely by opening up and relating to and within my heart, which was also being done simultaneously with this inner silent guidance, which I perceived as coming from my heart itself.
More and more peace and relief settled in me. I feel that these states also came as a result of my approach to this event, characterized by the fact that I did not come with any expectations, but only to surrender myself into God’s being through my spiritual Guide, Grieg.
The meditation continued with a growing aspiration and abandonment to and in the being of Grieg, whom I perceived at one point as the axis of my being, being filled with an almost blinding light that I could not resist. Towards the end of the meditation I felt a strong catharsis in the heart area and also realized that therein lies the main problem and also the solution.
During the expression of the state of gratitude, even as I was saying that text in unison with Grieg, I felt intensely and movingly how God descends into my being and that He is everything, that my life is nothing without Him and also that the state of my heart is at the moment as it is, full of some tension and bitterness, because I am not living as constantly and consciously as possible in God, with God and at the same time, in a way that is revealing to me, I have understood that the health of my body, my mind and the happiness of my soul and spirit are closely linked to the extent to which I allow or do not allow the energy of life to manifest itself freely and purely in and through me and that it is necessary to rediscover my intrinsic, intimate relationship and connection as a woman with the Holy Spirit.
At one point during the meditation a simple aspiration and prayer to God for all beings at this special event arose in my heart, feeling a sense of detachment from my personal needs and aspirations.
Thank you.
Ș.B. Bucharest
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